Thanksgiving 2021

Last week I lit the fireplace wrong and created a big fireball that burned up the ends of my hair, part of my eyebrow, the sleeve of my robe and most importantly the skin on my right hand and arm. It hurt very, very badly. Went to the ER, got morphine. The burns were/are first and second degree, which are the less serious kind. First is when your skin is red and shiny, second is when your skin blisters. It’s a good thing that the burns hurt like a motherfucker because that pain meant my nerves hadn’t been burned up.

As grody as my self-care was before the fireball turns out I can look even grodier with only the full use of my non-dominant hand. I’ll have bandages on the burn for another week. I am very much looking forward to not being burned anymore. Changing diapers will be easier, washing myself will be easier, putting on deodorant will be easier.

Turns out getting second degree burns because of a little fireball you made and going to the ER and getting morphine is good for your gratitude. Boy did I love my husband that day. I loved him especially when we were at the ER and I hadn’t gotten the morphine yet and the nurses were chatting pretty casually about their respective times working for the fire department and he spoke up and asked when I was getting that morphine the doctor mentioned again? I wish I could keep that level of love and gratitude for him every day. I guess we just need to find the equivalent of procuring me morphine every day.

The baby is gearing up to roll. He can get from his back to his side. This is going to impact my getting to the bathroom strategy, because right now I can leave him on the bed, where we are often administering bottles while watching youtube, and once he rolls he’s going to have to be put in the crib every time. Doesn’t sound like a huge deal but I’ll probably pee my pants a couple of times. Really nuts how much I’ve peed my pants in 2021.

We’re going to put the Christmas tree up today, after turkey. I’m in need of Christmas decorations. I’m especially in need of colored lights and tinsel and garlands. I’m in need of going full pinterest mom for the next month.

When I was younger I didn’t get how often aging feels like unraveling. It seemed like as people grew up they got more defined- more things belonged to them, they had more titles, they had more roles. But it really is a “this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife” vibe. Aging feels like getting blown around and as soon as you get used to the scenery the winds pick up and you’re blown somewhere new. People only appear more anchored as they age.

Well, the baby, the husband, and the dog are all sleeping. I’ll probably wander around picking things up and moving them to the places I prefer them. And then the coffee will really wear off and they’ll all be up. What a strange place to be.

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