Maybe Fire Your Shitty Therapist?


I think it’s about to be a weird week.

Being featured in The National Review as one example of a troubled young woman who was encouraged in a self-harming behavior was weird. On the one hand, I’m totally troubled. On the other hand, WOOT, still passing as a young person! It was like getting carded at a bar except in a national publication. Love it.

You could tell the video was drawing a different crowd by the youtube comments though. Some comments about patriarchy not existing, some comments about “is this a man or a woman?,” and way more comments saying if I was truly at peace I wouldn’t need to make youtube videos.

The part I hated the most of performing standup was after I did my set, when people in the audience would talk to me about my set. Standup exists because venue owners want to sell liquor, so it would be a bunch of drunk people thinking they were also funny people now, having laughed for awhile. And it would just be a lot of the same conversation over and over, and a lot of people thinking they knew me on a deep level. Now, that’s actually what you want people to feel about you as a performer. The fundamental illusion of standup is that you’re not putting on an act up there.

So I have really developed the skill of very quickly dismissing someone who’s talking stupid. It’s not nice  to stop listening to someone because it’s become clear to you they’re talking stupid. But folks- so many people have so many dumb, simple opinions that they think are valuable for other people to hear. Ironically the smart, complex takes they have about things are usually the hardest to convince them to share. But the dumb shit they will share immediately.

Who I’m interested in reaching with these videos are two very specific demographics:

-people who are detransitioning and feel fucked up about it

-people who are transitioning and are not being honest with themselves about what’s motivating them to do it.

I’m going to catch a lot of people outside of these demographics who have got some dumb shit to say. That’s the nature of the internet. If for every 15 people who are totally unaffected by this stuff but who nonetheless want to tell me their take on me I get 1 person who is affected and needs to hear another person being honest about it, those are numbers I can deal with. I’m willing to sigh loudly about 15 dumb reactions to my life to get the 1 heartfelt email where someone is being vulnerable and deep about their own life.

I think I’m going to get a bunch of dumb reactions this week. It’ll be fine. People saying stupid stuff is the height of normalcy. Every time I get a sweet, sad, smart email it gives me the juice to remember what the heck I’m trying to do. Trying to keep some detransitioned people going! Trying to keep some inappropriate transition from happening! Alright alright!



7 thoughts on “Maybe Fire Your Shitty Therapist?”


        I actually made them too big the first time and they weren’t loading so I just went back and made them smaller, but now the text is off-center. Argh, technical difficulties.

        I downloaded the video with some online youtube-to-video thing, clipped out the one part in iMovie and cropped it some, then got this little GIF Brewery3 app to make the actual gifs. Not as smooth a process as I would have liked but it worked!

        There was a site called gify that had a gif-maker that I tried, but I didn’t like how it automatically made things public. It’s one thing to make stuff to toss up on tumblr but another to have it floating around out of context, you know?

        Secrets of the kids these days revealed. I always wondered where all the gifs came from.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Bravo! You rock!

    I discovered your videos yesterday by accident and have been absolutely mesmerized. You articulate yourself so well, and in such a reasonable, rational way, that you are going to make a tremendous positive impact.

    I have never struggled with gender dysphoria. I’m just a straight white woman in her mid-40s and former feminist activist who has been appalled at the sudden push to “trans” everything. I have to admit, it has been hard to contain my anger about it, with much of that anger focused on the juggernaut to allow MTFs into women’s private spaces, and an increasing sense of despair and alarm at how many children are now being harmed by this “advice” to change bodies.

    What I haven’t fully understood is *why* this trans trend is even appealing to so many people? And how could therapists be so universally on board all of a sudden?

    I grew up with “Free to Be You and Me” – if you haven’t heard of it, please check YouTube and also get the soundtrack. This was organized by Marlo Thomas. The dramatic difference between the message then – which broke down gender stereotypes – and today’s trans culture is frightening. Back then, it was OK for William to have a doll. It did not mean that he was a she. Today, a parent will see William with a doll and consult a surgeon to put him on lifelong hormones or worse, get his penis removed. It is frightening and scary. And the therapists are all on board with this insanity. Why?

    Honestly, I think for some of them it is about money, and for some it is about fear, and for some, it is pure stupidity and an inability to think critically. A few years back I started seeing more comments by therapists leaving the profession because they knew if they tried to be honest about the underlying trauma pushing a lot of transgenderism, they’d become targets. The problem is, they bowed to pressure instead of standing up for what’s right.

    Here’s the ridiculous elephant in the room with all this: Trans culture is not about breaking down gender stereotypes. It is about reinforcing them. How did we get here? Who decided that liking make-up and mermaids (Jazz Jennings) is a “female” thing? When Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner proclaimed in an interview the relief at *finally* getting to wear nailpolish, I wanted to spit. In my entire adult life as a woman I have had absolutely no interest in wearing nailpolish. To have my femaleness reduced down to that is insulting.

    This is why I am so glad to see you calling out the therapists that push this crap on young people. I honestly think that any doctor or therapist who prescribes dangerous hormones or invasive surgery on anyone younger than 18 in the name of transgenderism (aka gender conformity) should have their license revoked.

    In the least, I am predicting a rash of lawsuits in the not-so-near future by people who are detransitioning. This may be the only incentive (money) to get therapists to be more honest and careful.

    PS The blog Third Way Trans has a great take on the psychotherapy issue in a post called “Social Justice and Gender Therapy.”

    Liked by 1 person

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